Let’s Take Another Minute…for Heritage (#2)

The air is cool and crisp. The leaves are beautiful in their colourful splendor, and I am back this week with another exciting installment of “Let’s Take a Minute…for Heritage”. If you have not had a chance to check out the first “Let’s Take a Minute” blog, why don’t you just take a minute (see what I did there…) and read it. It will entertain you for at least the full 3 minutes it takes for you to read it. Also, don’t think that I just glazed over the fact that you have been skipping my weekly blogs, I am going to assume that you just missed that particular entry due to some catastrophic event you could not control and therefore, I will forgive you, this once.

This week we travel to Quebec City in 1690. The streets are busy, people in New France are scurrying around tending to their business, when all of a sudden, a ruckus can be heard in the streets. Whatever could it be? Well I certainly can’t wait to find out:

(watch this clip)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rg5JYq3eJ2Q

Oh my, we are going to have a field day with this one, folks.

To begin, I will give you a brief background so we are all on the same page. This clip is about the Battle of Quebec in 1690. By this point, the English had already taken Port Royal in Acadia, the French in New France (Quebec) had started fortifying Quebec City against an attack they knew was coming. Quebec had never had to really test its defenses against an English fleet. As the English ships came into the harbour, a message to surrender was presented to Governor-General Louis de Buade de Frontenac (The soldiers in the redcoats are the English envoy demanding surrender of New France).

Here is a picture of Governor-General Frontenac. Note, how he is pointing to the cannon, like a badass. This is important for later.

Image Source: http://www.uppercanadahistory.ca/finna/finna4a.html

I like to think he is saying:

“You see this cannon? Well, I am going to take this particular cannon and shove it directly up your English ass until you shoot cannonballs from your throat.”  That’s just my humble hypothesis, it is not backed up with any real historic fact… that we can prove.

On that note, let’s get right into this video.

The clip starts with the English envoy being led blindfolded through the streets of Quebec City. The French army is just yelling at random people to get out of the way, and move their stuff, clear the road etc… The English soldiers are blindfolded because they are being taken INSIDE the city that they are about to try and lay siege to. OBVIOUSLY, you guys are going to get blindfolded, the French aren’t just going to let you walk around in there and take a good look at the soldiers, artillery and fortifications on your way to deliver the message. The first soldier though, he is pissed about his blindfold and just rips it off his face as if he was not expecting it. I think we can all take a minute to appreciate his look of disgust.

He's just ripping it off...

BAM!

Look at that face, my God. He is affronted. However, he collects himself and gets to continue inside, while his comrades remain outside.

Now this is where it gets amazing. This random citizen of Quebec just decides to start smack talking the English soldiers. It is not just a small amount of heckling from the sidelines, this curly haired show boater lays into this guy. He insults him by calling him the wrong rank, and then he talks about “Colonel Ships”, whose actual name is General Sir William Phips. The English Lieutenant takes this insult to heart and has a pretty strong reaction.

It instantly reminded me of a scene from The Other Guys. If you have seen the movie The Other Guys, with Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell, you will undoubtedly remember the Christinith scene. For those who haven’t seen the movie watch the 14 second clip below. You will see what I mean.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtz7d5NXRWg

Uncanny is it not?

Well, now a musketeer type sword fight just breaks out in the middle of the street and all the French soldiers, who are supposed to be guarding these English soldiers, just do absolutely nothing. In fact, a few of them actually hold their hands up in the air when the English soldier draws his sword…

As if saying, “Whoa guys, lets just see how this plays out.” If we are being completely honest Sir, it looks like you are putting your hands up because you are surrendering, not because you are trying to stop the French soldiers from stepping in. (Also, sorry this image is blurry, he threw those hands up so fast it was hard to grab a screenshot).

So, as D’Artagnan and Porthos are fighting on top of a wall and some crates, pretending they are in a Zorro movie, they are also spilling numbers and locations of ships and other important military secrets (don’t they know that loose lips sink ships!?) Governor-General Frontenac and the leader of the English envoy come out and yell at them to stop. Apparently, no one thought about telling them to stop until then. They, of course, cease fighting immediately.

The English soldier demands an answer from Frontenac about the surrender. Now this is where Frontenac utters one of the most badass quotes in history. I personally feel like it should be on a T-shirt… It probably is… If you know where I can buy one, please let me know.

The conversation goes as follows:

English Solider: Blah Blah Blah… give me your reply Sir!

Frontenac: I will [only] reply from the mouth of my cannon.

Mic drop.

This phrase needs to be brought back into common usage.

Anyone: “Hey Emma, would you mind changing the laundry over while you are downstairs?” Me, from the basement: “I will only reply from the mouth of my cannon!”

All joking aside, this next part of the video I am completely confused about. After Frontenac mutters that epic line and before the narrator begins to conclude the clip, the two men who were sword fighting have the most intriguing interaction I have ever seen. I have SO many questions. The English soldier looks at the curly haired rebelrouser (another underused word) and nods his head slyly. As if they have some secret we don't know. The curly haired man returns his nod with a look, that makes me honestly think he wants to seduce him.

Now, honestly people, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife in this interaction. Which is completely cool, if that is what they are into, but then why the sword fighting? Are they going to meet up after?

Go back and re-watch the clip, you will see what I mean. It is the oddest man to man nod I have ever seen.

So, to conclude and sum up, the English tried to attack Quebec but Frontenac was able to hold his defensive position.

I will leave you with how the video so eloquently put it.

“The English pressed the attack but Frontenac BEAT THEM OFF.” (Well he must be tired…) Seriously guys? Anyone else agree they could have chosen their words slightly better?

So many innuendos, so little time.

Until next week,

~Em