Let’s Take a Minute…For Heritage! #1
- Em
- Sep 18, 2019
- 4 min read
Today marks the inaugural voyage of a new segment of this blog called “Let’s Take a Minute…For Heritage!”. In these segments I will review and post my completely bias and mostly unneeded opinions about one of HISTORICA CANADA’s Heritage Minutes. Everyone from Canada knows the video minutes that I am talking about. You have seen them on TV, or you were forced to watch them in your high school history class (most people were forced, I enjoyed willingly). For those of you who don’t know, these are a series of 1:00 minute long videos that depict various important moments in Canadian History. They are fairly theatrical, and some (John McCrae one in particular) have some incorrect facts.
DISCLAIMER: PLEASE, do not get me wrong. I actually love the Heritage Minutes! I even own a DVD with the entire collection of them… (cough* NERD cough*) These little reviews are purely for entertainment! Also, maybe we can use this at a platform to start to revisit some of these snippets of our misspent youth.
With all that being said, please visit this link first and watch the brief one-minute clip that we will be reviewing today. (Bet you didn’t think there would be homework…)
I hope you all enjoyed that legendary clip as much as I did.
Ah, Jacques Cartier you look magnificent.
Let’s get started. Firstly, let’s just take minute to appreciate the music choice here…WOW. Just two groups of men walking up a hill to have a conversation but the music is like something from a battle scene in Lord of the Rings. Is Gandalf coming to this conversation? Are a shit-ton of Orcs going to hurl themselves onto the Iroquois?
In case it wasn’t clear from watching the clip, this Historica minute is about a first meeting between Jacques Cartier, his explorers and the Iroquoian people. It is also meant to depict how Canada was given its name. This is a fairly immense topic to jam into 1:00 minute but congratulations Histoica Minutes, you did it.
We should definitely give credit to the actor who played the Iroquois chief because the look on his face when the French crest the hill is solid gold. Let’s have another peek.
Look at him pointing his finger just thinking:
“Not today Satan, you best get to steppin’…”
The Iroquois in the front of the screen looks like he is saying. “Bitch please…”
However, instead of greeting the French with overt hostility, the party of Iroquois invite them to their village to talk. They are extending the olive branch, they will put on a pot of tea, sit around a nice fire, ask them why they have decided to invade their homeland… typical morning teatime type conversation.
We have now arrived at my favorite part. This Catholic priest who is just full-out lying to everyone. You had one job sir, it was to translate for Jacques Cartier, one job. When the chief starts talking it looks like this guy is just going to pee his pants, he is so worried about having to translate. Then he gets this shifty eye side-glance at Cartier and just makes something up.
This is what is going through is head right now. “Oh God, I only took 3 classes in Iroquois… I can ask where the bathroom is, say hello/goodbye and try to convert them to Catholicism… that’s all I know!”
So, he just grabs onto one word and goes for it. “Commander Cartier, he is saying this nations name is Canada.” Why the hell would he go straight for that whopper? I mean, you can make up any lie you want, Sir… why do you jump to naming the nation? Just say that he invited us to sample his new corn crop down in the village.
The next thing that happens is so truly Canadian that it is wonderful. One of the voyageurs in the back of the mob knows that this priest is just grasping at straws up there. We all know that he is having an internal struggle of whether or not he should say something. He knows the answer but doesn’t want to offend anyone. He finally makes the tough decision to try and clear this mess up for his Commander, Jacques Cartier. He politely makes his way to the front and starts by begging forgiveness for even speaking…
“B-Beg pardon Sir, but the word he used, I think it really means those houses down there.” Then he gestures to the Iroquois chief literally pointing at the houses/village.
Great so everything is good. Canada means village. Let’s go down and talk as friends.
NOPE! Enter the priest again…
Look at his face right there. Come’on man…the guy in the back with the tube sock on his head gave you an out. You were good to go. INSTEAD, he decides to just stick to his earlier lie and go for it.
“No no no, believe me. I know the word; it means nation and Ca-Na-Da is its name.”
Really?! Well you didn’t know the word 5 minutes ago, Father, when you were shifty eyeing everyone trying to come up with a translation, but no no, you are right, best to stick to your guns now (insert sarcastic eyeroll).
So, off they go down to have their conversation.
The epic Lord of the Ring’s music picks up again and this poor bastard in the back is just telling anyone who will listen that he is sure that Canada means village.
AND … SCENE!
Truly, these are wonderful. They are entertaining and educational. I hope you all will enjoy these new segments. I certainly enjoyed having a legitimate reason to re-watch some of these gems.
Until next Wednesday, my friends…
-Em
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